Can you not tarry?

I pray to stay centered.

I pray so I can parent well.

I pray so I can fall asleep.

I used to be a prayer closet kind of girl (so to speak) liking nothing so much as praying in the dark on my knees before a window where I could glimpse the stars. I used to be a no interruptions type of girl as well but “leave me alone I’m praying” is not a great way to teach the kids about prayer, I realize.

 Now… I am a “get ‘er done” whenever and however type of girl because a mama needs to pray and kids need their mama. Everyday is full of the unexpected and the proverbial “stick in the spoke” of a perfectly planned out schedule; there’s no reason why I can’t be praying with the kids around my ankles like usual, just doing what we do everyday.

 

My dad always told us the reason they determined to home school was that the public system didn’t teach the three most important things

1.                  how to have a relationship with God

2.                  how to have a successful marriage

3.                  how to make money

I know that going through public school doesn’t preclude the knowledge of those three biggies but it doesn’t facilitate an easy absorption. Kids need to see first hand and a lot what it looks like to enjoy a relationship with God and spouse.

 

It was early on in Daphne’s life when I noticed her intent and innocent stare looking at Chris and I during a disagreement. Her baby intuition recognized something unsettling in the atmosphere though her communication level made her incapable of putting it to words. It has been many times since where we have been reminded of those eyes upon us by instances communicating unsettling perception into their parents world.

 

I can see with clarity the bright and joyous faces that watched one afternoon as Chris picked me up and twirled me around until I was laughing uncontrollably.  Every walk after that, the kids would always say “daddy pick up mommy, pick up mommy”. They love to see us loving each other, liking to talk and be together. Our love, giving them security, is now planting the seeds that will grow the conviction that marriage is a commitment to forever, that with wise choosing and hard work you can have “happily ever after” after all.

 

I made a quick list of everyday occurrences (usually) that give me opportunity to make that connection with God. I realize an hour isn’t really that much when you break it down throughout the day and everybody is going to have different "little opportunities".

 Pray:

·         driving to work out class: 10 minutes

·         shower: 7 ½ minutes

·         doing the dishes: 10 minutes

·         nursing baby at night 10 minutes

·         watching the kids play outside: 15 minutes

·         in bed at night: 10 minutes (sometimes longer if sleep is particularly elusive)

I can always find a window and kneel down in the dark after the kids are abed but frankly I want my kids to know it is normal to talk to God whenever, wherever and as much as possible. I want them to know He is there for us always. Always, always, always.

 

It was when Daphne was quite little that Chris and I made a commitment to her and to each other to do these things:

• read the bible in front of the kids
• pray in front of the kids
• hug and kiss in front of the kids
• laugh with each other in front of the kids

I read once that character is what you do when no one is looking. Well, good parenting is what you do when little eyes are watching, because, frankly

 

.....they are always watching.

 

Spring hours

During the winter months I have what I like to call “the fab four”. This moniker refers to the hours between the time my kids go to bed and the time I go to bed. The winter sun falls early from the sky and consequently we eat early, bathe early and bed early in little people land; then in big people land there exists a chunk of time worthy of the title “a quiet evening”. It is time spent in ordering the day ending and planning the day to come, taking a half hour to read something splendid and then settling in to good conversation with the hubby. It is four hours of lovely.

 

And then came the time change.

Don’t get me wrong, I love long days and the feeling of summer in the fresh spring air but I have to admit I have the time change blues. I gave it my best shot to keep the kids going to bed early but what with the jay birds singing and the light glimpsing through the curtains, I just ended up with more needs: water, toilet, food etc. So I succumbed to an hour later bedtime and am taking my lumps.

 

This is part of the reason I have been hard pressed for inspiration lately I fear. After I clean up the kitchen, put a load in the wash, organize school for the morrow and practice a tad on the violin, I am fresh out of creativity. Then there’s the moment when husband, who was trying to work which must be his defense, asked if it was about time for me to take a break in my practice. I said “of course” but I have to admit I had an adult moment of feeling like I wanted to cry (really! That instrument is driving me nuts….and my husband too, apparently).

 

It was, overall, a great first day of spring. We planted watermelon seeds in egg cartons and purchased eight packs of different vegetable seeds for planting as soon as daddy tills the soil. Mason was under the misconception that we were going to eat the seeds; he got over his disappointment. We made peach crisp and ate it. We saw a giant stink bug.

 

So I'll try to do my crazy dancing while I scrub the counters and drink my apple cider vinegar tea while I screech on my instrument. I can still get "the fab three" in while the house is still.

In my whirlwind mothering I might just go in public with yogurt dried all over my left thigh or find a matchbox car stuck in between the girls (apparently the little guy deftly planted it while I thought he was just groping around for a meal) and this is just the beginning of the good times to come.

 

 Regardless of my slow adjustment process, "spring, I welcome you. The long days and sunshine are making this little guy very happy."

 

Let's give a warm welcome to....

!!!Apple Cider Vinegar!!!

Cheer! Cheer! Cheer!

This might not be the actual picture from my cupboard but I can honestly confess to having four of these stocked in my pantry at this moment and they won't last too long there.

Apple cider vinegar, the vinegar that cures dandruff, fights hiccups, competes with colds and overcomes, contributes to weight loss, battles acnes, kills warts, disinfects households, cleans your armor to glistening and you should see it walk on water.
It is anti-fungal, anti-bacterial and anti-viral;
It's friends call it  ACV.

I am here to sing the praises of ACV (yes I am a friend) but I am not preaching it as a miracle cure for all ailments, I am recommending you get some, use it and love it but am not saying it does all the things  listed above. Yet books have been written and dedicated to this undervalued liquid and I strongly believe that, where it might not be a miracle fix for everything, it probably has yet untapped uses of value. I am going to stick with personal experience on this and leave you to ponder the potential greatness of it at your leisure.

Before I get started let me emphasize that in order to get the benefits of ACV you need to use raw organic ACV. This contains the “mother” of the vinegar which has raw enzymes and gut-friendly bacteria that promote healing.  Clear vinegar is processed and doesn’t have any of the benefits of raw ACV. If you don't see the weird sediment floating in the bottom then it is not the real thing. I use Braggs, which I order on line, because it is super convenient, but it can easily be found in health food stores and many grocery stores.

 

I could labor over a fifty point list of ways to use ACV but you can do that after you fall in love with a few everyday, no nonsense uses that for me are tried and true.

1.  I have never used ACV to cure the hiccups but I do use it to soak my vegetables and fruit when I have been unable to procure organic specimens. Actually, even organic food can benefit from this soaking because other people touch this food before it gets to the stocked shelves and eventually to your kitchen.

1 part ACV to 10 parts water covering your fruit or veggies (only the ones you plan on eating the skin of)
Let sit for 5 or 10 minutes
scrub gentle with your "fruit and veggie only cleaning brush"
let dry on a towel and you are done

2.  I have never used ACV to whiten my teeth but I use it whenever I feel even an inkling of a sore throat. In fact, I use it if someone around me has a sore throat. 

 

Mix 1/4 cup ACV with 1/4 cup water and gargle every hour or so

I give you the light version. I usually just swig it down and chase it with a little honey but my dad had a hard time forgiving me after taking that recommendation. It is pretty intense.

 

3. I have never used ACV for head lice because frankly I have never had head lice but I do use ACV for indigestion. I never had heartburn until being pregnant with Drake, (which was soothed nightly by a wonderful drink called eggnog and probably the reason I gained fifty pounds) and have still struggled with it since birthing him.  I swig ACV for this and it makes it feel worse for a minute and then better, however, I suggest the more mild approach of:

 

1 to 2 Tablespoons ACV diluted in water half hour before eating something that you think or know might give you indigestion.

 

4.  I have never tried ACV as a hair rinse (supposed to make it shiny) but I do use it as a disinfectant around the house. The vinegary smell dissipates once it dries.

 

equal parts ACV and water in a spray bottle

spray and wipe surfaces

 

I know that naysayers will say that although ACV is a disinfectant it does not kill as many germs as store bought cleaners but for all of you who don't want your kids or yourself breathing Lysol fumes all the time you get why this is a valuable alternative.

 

A few bonus reasons to keep ACV on hand

 

It fights yeast infections:

 

 Add 1 and a half cups of ACV into a bathtub filled with warm water, and then soak in it for about 20 minutes. This should be done once a day for the first 3 days of the infection.

 

It cleans your toilet:

 

Just pour apple cider vinegar into the toilet, and allow it to sit overnight.

It fights sinus infection:

sinus tea:
tea of your choice
honey to taste
2 Tablespoons ACV

I drink this tea almost nightly even though my sinus problems are long gone.
 I put ACV in my smoothie every morning.
I give ACV to my kids in an eye dropper mixed with water and honey during allergy season.

Now you know why I keep lots of bottles around.

Here's to friendship and a further intimacy with apple cider vinegar.

Three new and exciting ways I am going to try ACV next week:

1.                  Using it as a deodorant

2.                 Using it in my dishwasher

3.                 Using it as a toner for my face


For better or worse

Even though I am working on the next amazing item you must have in your kitchen and in your life, I have some talking to do on marriage.

It is after all married life Thursday.

Even though much of what I say is a meandering of thought within the confines of a set topic, it is the pondering and exploring that Chris and I do so regularly that helps keep us always on track. We think and talk about our marriage a lot; what we love, what we need to work on and ideas for the next silly activity we want to do together. I say silly because we experiment with antics that keep us on our toes and laughing. So as I ramble I am saying: for better or worse we are in it for the long haul and because of this we are always working on making it great.

Tonight I am reminded of something Chris once told me during the first year of our marriage. We had quarreled and he was apologizing. In doing so he told me he was sorry for not protecting me from himself. I found this very interesting and thought provoking. It sounds strange to say but the truth is, there is a little bit of the abby normal in each of us; a little bit of the crazy and a little bit of the mean. A successful relationship doesn't require two perfect people, but it does require caring enough for that other person to protect them. It is not some inevitable danger lurking in the darkness outside so much but the fatigue, the stress and the distractions that make us lash out at the one who is near.

I have always said that just as there are a set of rules in all sports, we should never make a go at something as important as marriage without establishing guidelines to help govern our actions and words when life is just a wee bit wild. I can say with absolution that abiding by a predetermined set of parameters protects your loved one from injury incurred needlessly. I don't mean you don't talk and deal with deep and difficult topics but they should be talked over and dealt with while maintaining self control not in a heated and likely irrational passion.

As a human being I need mercy, in little things and big things and because I live with another human being I know he needs mercy too. I can give a little mercy.

As I practice at the violin with every other note just sounding off, I am thankful for my husbands encouraging smile instead of the grimace he might feel inside. I am thankful when he says good job dear after I have finished dancing to the same zumba song for the 25th time in a row trying to get ready to teach on the morrow, even though I imagine he got tired of that tune about the 2nd time through.

Consequently, I can tell him how good he is doing training the dog even though I feel annoyed that that same training is happening on my carpet.

All annoyances don't need to be shown and all irritation doesn't need to be voiced. After ten years of marriage I have finally learned this. Mercy is a valuable practice in marriage. Mercy is a valuable practice in life.

Here are a few everyday tips for the big M:

Hogan’s Tips for marriage:

 

·       Develop and write down your personal House Rules (we have about 8 that we have lived by since first married. They include: never say divorce, Never fight in front of the kids, Never yell etc.)

·       Live by said rules

·       Fight naked (rarely do this one but we like the idea)

·       Sleep with one less blanket than the weather requires (so you are forced to sleep really close for warmth. This is one of our favorites)

·       Take ten minutes on the couch daily for conversation (talk about everything except work, kids or money)

·       Don’t  interrupt each other

·       Go and meet your spouse when he or she gets home (husband gets home from work, wife gets home from the grocery store etc)

·       There’s a nice way and a mean way to say everything, choose the nice way.

·       Speak in a nice Timbre (tone).

·       Read a marriage book once a year together

Neglect the whole world rather than each other

 

 

 

An InLinkz Link-up

And the opening act is....

!!!Raw Honey!!!

And the crowd goes wild!!!

I grew up on honey; this, and pure maple syrup were the acceptable forms of sweetener in our home. Now, though I started out in marriage following all recipes to their exact proportions and ingredients (afraid of failing as a cook) I have instituted the same comparative structure. I do make exceptions for coconut sugar and occasionally we have raw agave syrup but white sugar does not live here.

Raw honey is pretty amazing, having anti-viral, anti-bacterial, and anti-fungal properties. It promotes body and digestive health, strengthens the immune system, eliminates allergies, and is an excellent remedy for skin wounds and all types of infections. Wait till I get going. The reading on raw honey is extensive so research it. Remember the key words here are “Raw, unpasteurized”.

Raw honey is an alkaline-forming food that contains natural vitamins, enzymes, powerful antioxidants and other important natural nutrients. These are the very nutrients that are destroyed during the heating and pasteurization process, giving you nothing more than another sweetener.

This winter season was a real challenge for our family. Ever since Mason’s eye surgery in October it just seemed like we kept dealing with one trifling cold after the next. (Now Drake goes around blowing his nose all the time)

The kids handle these things fine but mama ends up going weeks and even months with a pathetic amount of broken sleep each night because someone always needs me between the hours of eleven and six. Growing pains, teething, ear ache, stuffy nose, having to pee, wind storm, coughing, just to name a few off a long list of possible sleep interruptions. 

 

The hardest part of this for me is Mason. He already eats little so when he is coughing the probability that he is going to throw up is very high. The kid has this perfectly ridiculous sensitive gag reflex. Because of his long history with acid reflex, if he feels like he is going to throw up, he will just go in the bathroom and make good work of it. Seeing him lose what I just worked so hard to get in him has reduced me to tears on more occasions then I would like to count.

 

So during this trying period I ordered some Manuka Honey which is said to have the highest healing quality of all the honeys.
 

Side Bar: At night (if he has been coughing) I usually use Vick's Vapor  Rub on his feet which works really good to help keep the coughing at a minimum and BT's Cough and Bronchial Syrup which I also love but I am trying to keep things as natural as possible and felt like I was using those too frequently

 

Manuka honey is made by bees that feed on the flowers of the manuka bush, also known as the tea tree, in New Zealand. There is a rating system for this honey, so you want to look for the Unique Manuka Factor of 10 or above (UMF). By the way, this honey is delicious but pricy so I'm not using it to sweeten my coffee or make cookies with.

Interesting: In recent tests conducted at Sydney University's School of Molecular and Microbial Biosciences, manuka honey killed every type of bacteria, including antibiotic-resistant "superbugs". The University of Waikato in New Zealand has formed the Waikato Honey Research Unit to study the composition of honey and its antimicrobial activity

 

 

 I started giving Mason a quarter to a half teaspoon Manuka honey every time he would start coughing. I saw immediate results. Not only did it help with the tickle in his throat but I noticed if I gave him a dosage during one of his spells of acid reflex or even when he has had a whiff of something (like bananas) and he is going to start losing it, it would instantly help him get control. I have started him on a regular intake of it and have been astounding by my additional research.

I also tried this sticky substance as a mask for my face. Mixed a little organic cinnamon in with a teaspoon or more of Manuka honey and stuck it on. Most delicious mask ever, I could not keep from tasting it as I worked on the computer. Had a picture to post of that but decided I couldn't do that to myself. Also, my husband saw the picture I was going to put up and said "you putting that on your blog?". I opted not to after that.

 

I thank God for the promises he has spelled out in his Word regarding our health and wellness and as we walk in faith concerning what he has already paid for we can also take what he has given us on this earth that help bring balance and renewal to the body.

The closer we get to God's nature, the better.

 

Hippocrates said:
"Let your food be your medicine and your medicine be your food."

 

Go Raw honey!

Go healthy or go home

I might meet with some rolled eyes or smirks when I talk about my relationship with inanimate objects that have a significant place in my life, those items that I feel have contributed to the overall functionality of my present existence, but it is no joke when I say I love them. My vitamix “Mac” and my juicer “Bud” are both kitchen must haves in our home. I bless the day I brought them home (at separate times of course because the cost of those two is no insubstantial sum).

 As a mom I am always on the look out for things, ideas and habits that help me lead my little ones on the path that will provide them a foundation in life, as eventually they will start their own journey’s on this great wonderful planet.  Eating healthy is big time important in our home. Little ones have these amazing pure systems untainted by chemicals, processed foods, unnatural substances and garbage so why would we as parents allow (yes I use the word allow) unhealthy stuff to pollute the purity of these tiny bodies?

 I ask you.

Yes I was the girl whose mom packed her a healthy cake alternative when attending birthday parties and yes I also carted my own honey ice cream to the afore mentioned party. I ate tofu spaghetti growing up but also a heck of a lot of great food. My mom was strict with the certain things us kids were not allowed to have and I didn’t freak out (at least not too bad).

It is hard to deny the affect that food has had on our young people. I would rather see a little dalliance with Mc Donalds or Kentucky Fried Chicken when they are of age as opposed to providing those sad excuses for food as a meal selection when they are not even old enough to pee in the big potty.

My Mason has been a case where food is of the greatest importance, and because he does not eat as much as I wish he would, all his food options have to be high quality, vitamin filled, nutritious wise choices, to help create an environment that promotes healing and growth. I am not saying I am perfect at this by any means but I am always tweaking my system for that boy; racking my brain and beating my head against the wall at times.

So this week I am going to write every day about an important element in our diets; this week is all about family health.

Good food, good habits, good lives.

 

 

Marriage...what not to do

As we continue on with the theme of Married life Thursdays I would like to submit a couple perhaps no brainer ideas for diffusing potentially uncomfortable or unstable relational situations. I say a “no brainer idea” to indicate that anyone can think of these and everyone probably has, giving the problem in relationships some relatively defined limits. To do what you know to be right when your feelings are telling you to do something different. Does that sum it up?

I am not referring to dysfunctional situations beyond the scope of everyday personality differences and normal hormonal, emotional, and physical challenges. That seems like a lot in itself but abuse, trauma, violence and the like are a whole different animal and require a different skill set then I possess. Getting help in marriage can be a marriage saver. But many of us just need a reminder to be your nice self during the inevitable everyday annoyances.

 

I remember in our first year of marriage, my husband blind siding me one night over a pile of things on the bottom step. In my busy organizing I would pile what needed to be brought upstairs at the bottom of the stairs (naturally) and take it all up at once instead of making countless trips up and down. Apparently he really did not like seeing things piled on the bottom step (in my defense it was neatly stacked on one side), but had never mentioned it before until positively exploding about it. This was of course very irritating to me. I have no trouble with my husband not liking my methods and am happy to alter them if asked in a rational manner. This to me was not rational and of course didn’t put me in an “okay dear I’ll never do that again” mood. However, I noticed something right away even in my “high horse” state of mind, after his totally unforeseen and unnecessary display of disgust. 1. He had something work related on his mind 2. He had not been able to find something for work that he had spent awhile looking for. 3.  He was already feeling impatient and annoyed about stuff entirely unrelated to me.

 

So short story long, the pile on the stairs was, as the saying goes, merely the straw that broke the camels back. It is easy to overreact to your spouse when you are already feeling overwhelmed by life’s many overwhelming qualities and getting an overreaction to your overreaction is, as the sayings continue to go, adding insult to injury.

 

My husband is an even keeled man and lets me have free reign with many things. However there have been a few things that he has shown a real preference for, like having the toilet paper roll put in with the paper coming off the top (yes, he gave me a ten minute monologue on the reasons for this, of which I won't sport with your intelligence by repeating). I laugh about this but I try always to put the roll with the paper coming out of the top.

 

The bible says a gentle answer turns away wrath. Most of us have this verse memorized but when wrath is directed at us, wrath is usually used in return.
 

So as we strive to be good "keepers" of the very wonderful institution of marriage, let us all remember a couple things not to do:

 

• Don't use sarcasm. Sometimes sarcasm can be funny, but in marriage, sarcasm is usually hurtful. When two people are trying to cohabitate peacefully and at the same time bare their souls to one another, small hurtful jabs can be more destructive than in other relationships. Make an effort to keep things intimate by being constructive instead of causing your spouse to put up thin protective walls that eventually become thick protective walls.

• Don't get defensive. Say "I'm sorry" and mean it instead of giving attitude. Sometimes we just need someone to have a little mercy on us and who better than our spouse to provide it. Despite trendy opinion, usually our spouses are not trying to attack us when speaking so take the trouble of listening and asking questions before jumping to your own defense.

• Don't deflect: perfect the art of saying "I can do that dear" instead of pointing the finger at what they have been doing wrong in the past 24 hours or 48 hours or two weeks or two years and bringing a small irritation to a very large irritation. "I can move the stuff from the bottom of the stairs babe" instead of "If you hate it so much, you move it."

You get the picture.

Little ways we display grace in a relationship can make the home such a pleasant place to be.

 

 

An InLinkz Link-up

A short Monday thought

 

The reason moms and dads everywhere should always be on their game.

 

The space on the top of her smile used to be bare. Everyone who saw her in December would sing "all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth". Now, she is growing two big girl teeth. She doesn't lisp when she says her s's; she tells me she likes her new smile.

 

Where do all the moments go? I'm pretty sure they go straight into my heart, and it makes for a pretty good ache. 

I know I have had many a ramble lately about kids, marriage, and life moments but these things are so very relevant right now. Someday soon I will write about my passion for Apple Cider Vinegar or lament over the sad tale of Les Miserable or delineate the five things I never leave home without or write an Ode to my Vitamix, but for now I just want to say - and say it with profound emphasis:

 

Take care of those kids God has given.

Be their super heroes.

Be their biggest fans.

Be the best you possible you in order to help them become their best selves.

Treasure them.

Show them Jesus

 

"....Speak Lord, for your servant is listening" -1 Sam 3:9