Valentines Bums

Seven years ago my husband and I had steak for Valentines Day and sparkling apple cider.

 

It was hospital steak. Two days before we had met our daughter for the first time.

 

 I felt like I had been hit by a semi truck and could barely move off the bed but that was a memorable valentines day. 

 

If you have ever gone through the star bucks drive through and the guy handing over your drink asks how you are and you feel your eyes swell, and you just have to get out of there before he asks if you are alright and then the water works really start, then you know how my day was. I spent the day with a nervous empty stomach that no amount of comfort food could encourage to eat. I probably shouldn’t even be blogging given the sad state of sleep over the last two nights, holding my little one as he sleeps, so uneasily; Praying for him as his little short breaths indicate some greater discomfort, but writing helps me feel normal.

 

I spent the day at multiple doctors offices and then multiple pharmacy’s, those of you who know me know that I am very unwilling to run with my children to a place that usually houses a plethora of coughing, sneezing, people in a tight waiting area. But that’s where I was today. A mother knows I guess; I knew something was off last night ….all night and this morning was dismayed but not surprised to hear the recommendation that I get an immediate chest x-ray for my littlest buddy. I greeted the male nurse who had come to give Drake a breathing treatment with a smile even though my panicking son had both his hands down my shirt, trying to find something familiar in the haze of unknown implements poking and prodding him.  He had his breathing treatment and his x-ray and started antibiotics for the first time in his young little life.

 

 My husband did come home with a red rose, an enormous card and a couple bars of my favorite chocolate. The poor man got a sub par style of gourmet; that being a quesadilla with avocado just a little too ripe and cucumber just a little wilted around the sides. I am fortunate that my Valentine doesn’t notice the small nuances of food as long as the overall taste is okay. Ten years of Valentines. We have had dinners and dates and romance. We have written poetry and cards in those years. I daze him with my original poetry penned for and about him and he gives me his little bits of genius like the one I got just today:

 I try hard to be amazing every day and sometimes I just need grace when I am so very far from amazing, sitting with liquid Amoxicillin on my Rock Republic Buckle Jeans and baby boogers all over my blue blouse. I came home at 4:30 and happened to glance in the mirror to see streaks of brown eye liner rubbed under my eyes (Don’t know when that happened but it was likely the Starbucks incident, which means I was wearing my heart around my eyes for at least 4 hours. Look in the mirror once in awhile for goodness sake).   

 

We are night watchers tonight, keeping eye on what we value most. Our valentines day is not as carefree as some past Valentines have been but I am thankful for the arm around me as I cry out the remainder of the day on the couch and the hand to hold as I face what real life sometimes involves.

Here's to being less than perfect but still loved. Happy Valentines Day!