and our three foot skeleton we call "bones" hanging from the trim, who, I am sorry to say, lost his rib cage today and his organs fell out. Our ladybug Larvae in their little land are on the shelf next to the candle sticks and my recipe books are on the shelf above all our favorite reading books...and I am content.
If adults think children learn slow when it comes to chores and homework, a semblance of obedience and sometimes basic manners, what should we say of ourselves when we have decades of learning and experience and perspective, yet perpetually are led to old habits of thinking. For me, it is the way of the world around me vs. the call of my heart.
Kids can be just plain embarrassing. Believe me, before kids I was guilty of those semi-judgmental thoughts when I would see a public dynamic between mother and child and think "my child won't behave like that" or notice a food strewn face and somewhere in my uppity pondering think "I won't let my kids go in public like that". Oh how I laugh at myself now.
On Mason's first day of gymnastics I bundled the four into the car in a hurry, allowing my three year old to go in socks as I had distinctly seen his shoes in the car the day before. The baby was a little under the weather and still in his footy pajamas. On reaching our destination I found, to the contrary, that I had actually only seen one shoe. There I was with the other gymnastic moms and dads watching my bean pole who is all arms and legs, doing gymnastics with such spastic enthusiasm that I was actually laughing aloud, with my baby in PJ's and my one shoed three year old. "I am 'that' mom" I said to myself.
The truth is that a mother can never sacrifice the moments for what a non related "public" may or may not think. Or, rather, she shouldn't.
Today I sat in the sun on the trampoline eating frozen blueberries and reading some of our favorite stories by Robert McCloskey (he wrote Blueberries for Sal). Those boys were covered in blue. Even my own fingers were stained pretty bright under the finger nails. Oh but their sweet little faces reading that book with me, asking their sweet little questions and gazing with innocence and interest at the expressive pictures. My boys were still a little blue when we had to go into town to take my daughter somewhere and I didn't even try and make excuses for myself.
We all make choices every day, many many little choices. Sometimes the children get bossed and busied around so much that they get lost in the demands of the next appointment or the next project, even if the said appointment or project is on their behalf. It doesn't hurt to let the children take life a little slower. It doesn't hurt to stop your own business with the plea of your boys "read this to me mom?"
Tonight my seven year old who by the way has been the cause of more mom embarrassing moments than I can count, held my head in his hands and said "I wuv you so much" (he still has trouble with his L's but I didn't correct this one). My three year old said "you're the best, mom" when I found his lego man in the dryer.
I took the time to sit on the couch with my daughter after the boys were abed and watch the first part of Pride and Prejudice. My husband (unable to resist P&P nonchalantly sat down with us). I saw her hand reach for her dads and then for mine and there we sat, just us three, living in the moment with the unfinished dishes in the sink and two loads of laundry in need of a folding.
So I am schooling my children at home , but really I am learning the lessons....as usual. They remind me, on days like today, that school is not bookwork, laboring over letters and figures, it is about the cultivation of an inquiring mind, a love and respect for what is around us and an ever deepening appreciation for the miracle of who we are to God and to each other. There is a lot of conventional in this world we live in. A lot of rules and regulations, of labels and demands. Not bad, mind you, or at least not intentionally bad....(I hope but am not entirely convinced).
Yet, let us parents never lose sight of our true purpose, or fail to recognize the gifts we've been given in our children's moments and their sweet innocent hearts.
The way of the world is just a little too fast paced for me. A little too dramatic and a little too negative. A little too eager to put every little person on a chart and measure them. The call of my heart, though my head sometimes convolutes the message, is to let the children be energetic and free spirited, let them laugh and be curious and be little for longer than they are allowed to be "out there".
My husband reminded me of how many seeds we planted and how concerned I was because a whole egg carton of my boys seeds didn't grow and he was watching for them every day. After one month longer than the germination period was supposed to be, little sprouts started poking through the soil. I'm so glad I didn't stop watering them even though they were the slowest of the bunch.
The seeds you plant with your kids will reap a harvest even if the germination period is longer than the package says (or the book, or the internet, or the doctor, or the studies).
Let them enjoy being at home and being loved.
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